NBR I need to pick your brain! What Life Skills or “Adulting” things do you wish your mom or teacher had taught you? And GO!
NBR
I need to pick your brain!
What Life Skills or “Adulting” things do you wish your mom or teacher had taught you?
And GO!
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Sorry to get dark but wish I had been told what consent was
Unfortunately that was a hard lesson for my littles as my daughter was assaulted at 7. ?
No need to feel sorry; our society as a whole has been lacking educating this to everyone.
@Andrea just boggles my mind to think back to sex Ed classes and how much more they could have taught us, I hope the education system is changing since I left(2010)
I agree. Educating adults in a class to train people how to be victim advocates was a strain; there were some who couldn’t understand certain aspects of trauma and how we’ve not only allowed it to continue, but have almost trained the perfect victims by not educating them in ways and their right to say “no”.
Same here. I was NEVER taught this… only, “don’t have sex before marriage.” And if I did I was worthless, essentially.
That’s such a sad thing to experience!
How to obtain and manage credit
That’s a good one for my list!
Right?!??
To be fair my parents and grand parents were older than other people’s parents and grand parents and came from a time where you paid cash or didn’t buy it.
I understand. My grandparents were born between 1914 and 1927.
I had friends who waited to get credit until after college and had terrible time getting any. I applied where ever I had an opportunity after 18 with the hopes that eventually someone would give me one. Just so I could build some, but use it only for emergencies. Credit is very hard to build if you wait until your in your mid 20’s.
How to fill out things like I9s…do my taxes, when’s a good time to get a credit card
I didn’t think of credit cards! I’ll definitely include those.
Oh and basic cooking! I’m an awful cook and I wish someone took the time to teach me some things. Lol
How to do the laundry, how to fix in-home appliances – like the vacuum, etc.
Ohh! I didn’t think of small appliance repair! Thanks!
How to say no
That’s hard, especially for my peace keeper. I’ll add that!
How to forgive myself for mistakes, how to file taxes, how to buy a car and negotiate a good deal, how to remove stains from clothes, how to handle an interview, how to budget properly and manage finances, how credit works, how to cook my favourite dish.
Yes, how to budget.
Yes! My littles are already included in our budget discussions. I’ll definitely set a Budget Activity in our schooling.
Credit and Interviews are definitely going on our lists!!!
I’ll also step up stain removal and cooking.
I’ve learned how to cook most things, but I definitely wish I had learned how to cook my favourite dish my mother used to always make me.
Oh, also, how to look people in the eye while speaking.
Ohh! Yes! That’s really important!!
There is always that one dish. I made my dad sit down and help me learn to make my grandmother’s cornbread. I’ll put that on the list, too!
Nothing I can think off. My parents raised me well. I guess one of my flaws is that I tend to get envious of others easily, what they have, how skinny they are, what they’re wearing or what they can do. I see that as a personal flaw though, it’s not a value my parents taught me. It’s an evil I need to overcome myself.
That’s really great! I’m trying to make a list to make sure I don’t forget things my children need to learn. It’s the things you just do without thinking about that are typically forgotten. ?
How to break large tasks into small tasks.
How to postpone satisfaction.
How to fail and not feel like a failure.
How to prioritize.
How to budget and stick to it.
How to live within our means.
How to resist conspicuous consumption.
Those are good ones! Thanks!
Most of everything about being an adult I wish my parents had taught me. Driving, taxes, credit cards, college stuff, cooking etc.
Thanks!! I do need to look up current college requirements again!
More like how to apply to colleges, taking the sats, filling out financial aid etc. I had to and still do struggle with doing that and I go to a community college since I have to work full time too. I’m 26 years old and still in school :/ parents don’t help pay for it, they didn’t teach me to cook, anything to do with driving, etc. I have to Google everything
To know that half the things we worry about is a complete waste of energy, and to focus on what we can control and what’s really important. And to let go what we cannot.
And please teach your kids how to cook! (I taught my entire dorm floor of boys how to make pasta, because they were tired of eating instant food.) Cooking is not scary.
So did I! My children are now having to cook one meal a week. The trick will be teaching them to cook for one instead of seven! ?
I learned to cook because I was always hungry, and watching other people, so I’d just trial and error it. But when I got to college, I was one of two people who cooked. It was really strange no one showed them how to even boil water.
Isn’t that insane? We had two girls inadvertently start a fire because they didn’t know how to cook! Ugh. ?
How to meal plan on a budget.
My mom (who was also my teacher) taught us how to cook and meal plan but on my parents income. Now I’m fending for myself on a nonprofit income and I have no idea what I’m doing.
Ohh! That’s really hard! I’ll add that!
Definitely taxes. And how to properly clean out a vacuum. And how to garden! I can’t grow anything ?
Those are great! Yes! My littles are learning to weed. They like the planting, but think the harvest magically appears. ?
Honest and in depth information about women’s reproductive system. There is really so much to know and I didn’t learn it all until my early 20s. Which is sad because had I known things like: you’re only fertile for about 7-10 days of the month and the signs that you are fertile, I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant at 18. I love my daughter and I’m glad I got pregnant with her… I don’t regret her at all, not even for a second. But this information would have altered the path of my life so much. My parents covered pretty much everything else
I agree! My sons are learning this slowly. It’s more comfortable for them and I get better communication if I give the general and they come to me for more specific things. They also have more in depth discussions with my dad and brother. I’m glad that I have them to communicate with my shy eldest son! My daughter is about to get her big discussions. I have three books coming on Monday! Lol
I, too, lacked a LOT of information about this. I just didn’t know it! My littles will definitely know as much as possible.
Thanks!
My daughter is 6 and already knows the general stuff. She told a little girl at the park one time that she was getting a baby brother and that “he’s going to come out of my moms vagina soon.” ??? good times lmao but I’m making sure she understands her body and when my son is old enough I’ll make sure he understands girls bodies too because it’s good information to have.
It really is! My eldest knew all about babies at a young age, too. ?
You ever watch birth videos with your kids? My daughter loves them. I do too. I always cry when the baby is born lmao. I’m going to be starting school next year to become a midwife and I swear, I’ll be crying as I catch babies for the rest of my life lmao
I have watched them. They like them pretty well. The boys were more curious when they were little. Now that they are 15, 13, and 12 they don’t enjoy that theme as much. Lol
Hopefully they’ll be more interested again if/when it is their own babies being born lol ?
I’m sure they will. They still coo over babies. I’m quite happy with them being squeamish about girls for a bit longer. Lol
Yes definitely. Let them think we have cooties for as long as possible ? I can’t imagine my son ever growing up yet. He’s only just about to be 2 and I’d like to believe he’ll just stop growing soon. Lol
Please teach your son later on though Ariana. I had to explain condoms to my (now) husband. It was a bit odd to do so in his late 20s. Lol He knew about sex but not protective sex.
Honestly, my mom explained everything and offered to buy birth control and condoms for us. She just included that we would have to be responsible enough to handle the consequences that come with pregnancy. Not one out of her four girls got pregnant nor stds. It worked.
Oh both my kids will definitely get all the information they need to avoid any unplanned pregnancies or sexually transmitted anything’s. I’ll make sure of that. ?
Other weird things: Learn how to mend clothes (buttons, holes, toes of socks etc, basic sewing) , proper cleaning, learning how to speak up about simple things (living with other people, little things can become huge blow ups if they don’t know open communication).
All of these!!!
Oh that’s a great suggestion! I hadn’t thought of that type of communication.
I’ll add these!
Budgeting, cleaning well, home repairs, and how to live without her.
That last one is hard to read… but definitely important! Thanks for those!
Handling my finances properly ?
I feel like a lot of us missed this! It’s going on my list as well! Thanks!
You’re very welcome ?
How to buy a huge piece of meat and break it down on my own.
Yes! deboning a chicken, even. It can be daunting.
Definitely! Thanks!!
Maybe this is a personal failure, but making and keeping up with friends.
My mom uses makeup and never taught me- I didn’t own any until I practically bought some myself at 17.
I’ve noticed that adulting is a step-wise process, and I feel like my mom will have more to say about, eg, wedding planning, pregnancy, house buying, when I get to those stages. But she skipped money management so far entirely.
I don’t think those are failures. It’s definitely something you need to learn! Make up is important, too.
I’m going to definitely include event planning now! Everyone should know how to plan and host a party!!
How to stand up for your self. Don’t let others walk in you. How to set goals. How not to procrastinate.
Oh, good ones! These are on the list, too!
Takes, interest rates, how mortgages work, cleaning tips.
Thanks! I’m adding those. ?
Taxes*
Maybe to believe in yourself, and to know you are beautiful inside and out. My hubby has helped me with these. Miss my mum every day, just to even let her know how my kids are going – it is 26 years now ???
Oh hon, I’m so sorry! Self confidence and appreciation are so important. Saying I love you is, too. I’m definitely going to add the importance of every day to the list.
Thank you!
Thank you. Some days are better than others.
Sometimes some problems can’t be solved, and you have to let them go.
That’s a hard but important lesson! I’m adding it. Thank you!!
It’s something that is probably not good to tell kids, but it’s an important lesson that can be hard to learn as an adult if no one ever taught you. A bit of a catch 22.
How to invest in stock market
Budgeting, taxes, mortgages (also how to buy a house), credit cards & loans (interest rates, fees etc.), how to create a will (because you pretty much should do one when you buy a house etc.).
Oh! Wills and power of attorney!
That being an adult just SUCKS.
How to make decisions for yourself and not because you have to fulfill anyones expectations.
That’s important, too!
Taxes, getting loans, budgeting, time management, healthy eating, probably other things as well. I have a wonderful mother, but I wish she had taught me this stuff before I moved out
Our moms are great! It’s these little but important things I want to make sure my littles know. Thanks!
Budgeting.. How to sew correctly..
I’m lucky since my mom did teach me quite a lot. The only things we both suck at are hair and makeup. ?
Mum never wore make up nor do I. So the daughter’s will have to learn that skill elsewhere
Oh good. At least I’m not alone in it. ???
My mom didn’t wear it either. I learned when I started theatre. My kids may not be able to do everyday makeup, but they can make you look like you’re dying! Lol
How to cook. I am too afraid to touch an oven so it is mostly my fault. Microwaves are LIFE.
wish my mum had given me the birds and the bees talk instead of having to rely on my peers. my teachers didn’t help either. having a very late menarche also meant I didn’t know anything about my body well into my 20s.
I know the first time I wrote out a check I felt like an idiot.
I wish they had told me WHY it’s important to have good credit
Ohhh good one!
Budgeting, what is tax?? How do i do it?? How to approach my bankers. How applying for collage works. Driving. Driving properly. Seeing, how to handle conflict. How to handle work stress. How to stand up for myself without the fear of getting fired or hurting the people around me. How to not switch on the snooze. How to save and invest money oh And how to get out of debt
These are really important! Thanks!
Taxes
I wish I would’ve paid closer attention in sewing … so that’s not the school’s fault, that’s my own fault XD But there are a lot of things that SHOULD be taught at school but aren’t (like taxes!), and I wish schools had a life skills course … like a day or two of learning CPR, how to sew on a button, how to fix your car. Basic everyday stuff, but still relevant, you know?
And compulsory driving lessons
Well I took driving lessons and it still didn’t help me XD But yes, it’d be nice if it was offered to everyone at the high school level through the school (at a reduce price, because it was not cheap!)
@Kaitlyn, I didn’t learn to drive until I was 25, and that was so I could get around from where we live, to wherever as there is no public transport nearby. I am a wimp when it does come to driving anyway, if I have to go to town, I will leave my car in the suburbs, and bus into town – no worries on parking then
CPR! That’s definitely going on the list!!
I’m not an adult yet but I can tell you my perspective as an young adult who is still trying to learn things. There are a lot to say and really I’ll forgot things. It’s important for the first time to teach them how to deal with their emotions if they don’t know how now. I’m very emotional and that is a thing that I’m afraid for the future. Absolutely that I need to discover myself and know who I am by my own but it’s easier when you have help. From parents, friends or family. Also is relevant for who they are the group with they are hanging on. Try to find if it’s the best one for their personality or they could be better persons. There are a lot, a lot of things that we as young adults in this times figure out by our owns but with help is always easier. Uh there really are a lot of things going to my head right now but if I write them all here it will take a lot of time and maybe you already taught your children all I said above. If not I could talk about this for hours( from my perspective, as not adult but young adult) and you could message me or I could write just here. Have a good day ?
Thank you!! We are definitely working on emotions and self respect right now. I have four children: two with anxiety, two with ADHD, an Aspie, and one with PTSD. These things are hard for them. You are right, though! These are extremely important!! Thank you for your input!
Oh, with all they are dealing now is the best thing to teach them how to love them because they are important, in the first place. Is hard nowadays to teach a children who is sensitive and caring and isn’t mean to anyone to love himself. I am this way. I do my best for others and I’m never doing the best for me. Search them speaches from people who deal with the same emotions. That will help and in time they will be stronger. Help them find one person except family they can count on. One, not a group of ten friends who are not really friends. Let them dream because that is what makes us, all of us, happy. Let them take their time to deal with anxiety or all their emotions. It is hard. It took me years and still counting. Still trying to find who I really am. This is the age for doing this. Let them be childish when all is too much. You’ll never be able to deal for them but you can show them all your mother love. I think I’ll get you bored because for sure you know all of these but I can’t stop. After years for sure they will look back and feel that all their eforts were for their best. And also remember them everyday that you will love them whatever their choices in live will be because that is also important. Wish you and them and all your family the best ☺
Budgeting
Living
Also let’s shout out to Fathers too because you know they also take part in raising kids.
Definitely!! I ran out of space for the attention grabbing background. Lol My Dad and brother are huge in my children’s lives. My dad taught me so much.
I’m just trying to make sure my own children are as prepared as possible. ?
How to do make up. to teach me about credit. To balance a check book.
To take responsibility for my own actions
Very important!!
That she was right almost all time and to listen to her and Dad.
That’s so hard for teens to understand. Lol
Cooking. I can’t cook. At all
Breaking up and going on living after that… ??
Oh yes! Thanks!
Unclog the sink ?
Oh! Small home repairs! Good one!
Yeah ! I’ve been struggling with it since I started living alone and it seriously is a waste of money to pay people for something as simple as a clogged sink
Taxes, crochet, knitting, sewing, healthy eating and also to exercise more
I can teach most of those. I’d give anything to know how to knit or crochet, but I’m hopeless at it! Lol
Financial stuff.
Taxes
I think your post should say parents or Teachers.
Sorry, I ran out of space with the attention grabbing background so I shortened it.
@Melissa no worries not everyone has a mom
Or a dad. And some have aunts or uncles as parents. It’s a generalization.
True sex education, what your life & relationships are really like with a child, the value of money like how many hrs work your sweatshirts or moving outing actually costs. To save for retirement as soon as you start working, spend your money on experiences not things.
Basic cooking and how to fix things like cars or smt (basically what a father teaches a son)
Good ones! Car repairs are definitely going on the list!
Kids should be taught how to budget & balance their checkbooks.
How to sleep at night without overthinking :/
We are currently working on this. ?
Balancing a checkbook, taxes, searching for scholarships and grants for college.
Wish I was taught how to grocery shop, how to cook, how my body works, I wish I was taught healthy eating habits instead of my mom shoving her anorexic thoughts onto me. I wish I was taught sooner what a healthy relationship was
Yes! I’ll add these too!
Hugs!
Hugs
All of them bc my mom didn’t teach me anything. I taught myself but I’m seventeen. She still has nine months to teach me something.
I was 18, when Mum died, so I have tried to teach my 18 year old daughter as much as I can
How to fail. Seriously, the way schools AND parents/guardians work these days is by drilling perfection perfection perfection. Kids are going to fail at some point in life, it’s freaking inevitable. So instead of punishing them and making them feel like crap for flunking that test or screwing up once or twice at their first job, teach them how to brush it off and learn from it in order to get better next time. It helps soooooo much with many things like mental health, self-esteem, competence, and work ethic
such a good point
Budgeting, saving, planning for financial future and what debt means.
Budgeting
Personal financing, sewing, how to cook, etc
How not to procreate
I had no mom.
Understandable. As I said before I ran out of room to keep the background. I’m just trying to get suggestions for things some people wish they had known going into adulthood.
I’ve taught my kids what I never learned myself…the TALK, what happens during puberty, don’t let people get you down, don’t listen to peer pressure…things like that. My kids are biracial so I’ve had to add more to my lessons but my kids are amazing! My oldest daughter is 18, a Senior in high school, and works part time at McDonald’s. She’s learning so much and has kept a good head on her shoulders even when times have been tough. My younger daughter is 16, a Sophomore in high school, and is my rebellious one. But I love that about her. My son is 11, and in 5th grade and super smart!
That’s great! I guess I’m scared I’m going to miss something. I’m a single mom and sometimes I feel like I’ll make a huge Mistake. That’s why I’m trying to make a list of important things that parents don’t necessarily remember to teach.
@Melissa don’t worry you got this Mama!! Just teach them to not judge a person by their outside appearance, look at WHO they are on the inside. That’s the best advice I can give. Both my daughters are lesbians and I couldn’t be happier with them. All I ever asked them was to be happy with WHO they are. As parents we have a tough job, and I think single parents have an even tougher time as they have to cover both roles. My husband was a truck driver most of my children’s younger days, so I was alone. Always have a great support group! Try to make sure you have a trust worthy person who can be the Father figure; this is important I feel as all kids need that important male role model growing up.
Melissa, you are doing great because you are there for them. They are learning unconditional love from you.
Thanks guys! I appreciate it!
Acceptance and respect for others is very important to my family and it. We have friends from a lot of different backgrounds and faiths. I’ve, hopefully, taught them that loving, respecting, and accepting people is important. You don’t have to agree on everything or believe the same things, you just have to be compassionate and kind.
My parents, brother, and friends are amazing! My brother and father are their father figures. My littles (I say little, they are 15, 13, 12, and 10) often joke about their “four parents.” Lol
@Melissa that’s awesome! My kids have us, my adoptive parents, my bio mom, their two uncles, and their godparents! So they have enough people behind them!
That’s wonderful!!!
How to be as great a mom as she is… ❤️
That’s beautiful!!
Cooking, better handling finances.