I read an article about this and was wondering: do you think good sex is missing from YA?
I read an article about this and was wondering: do you think good sex is missing from YA?
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Yes
I think that it’s such a broad audience that authors tend to leave it out or skim over it.
I think it depends on the story. If it’s a love story, like the Upside of Unrequited, where it was definitely part of the plot and helped with the character development, then yes I think it should be there. But I do find it really annoying when sex is just thrown into a book/movie/TV show just to make it more raunchy and doesn’t actually aid the plot or character development.
Exactly. When it in no way enriches the plot it’s just annoying fodder you have to skim through to get to the actual story.
I don’t know that sex needs to be included but I think ya is missing out on including discussion about healthy sexual relationships. I think including healthy sexual relationships/encounters in ya novels are important because so many teens are being exposed to sex and they aren’t being exposed to what a healthy sexual relationship looks like. I know most kids in the usa, at least, aren’t being taught these things by parents etc.
I totally agree!
I think parents are really happy that they’re usually free of sex and therefore okay for their teenagers to read.. ?
I like my YA without romance or very little in it. So no I don’t think sex is missing. That’s what adult books are for. Or also the “new adult” genre.
YA doesn’t need sex or so. That is why NA (New Adult) exists! ?
But I think they do need more YA books without any romance.
I’ve read quite a few without any recently actually.
https://mobile.nytimes.com/redirect?to-mobile=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2018%2F02%2F09%2Fbooks%2Freview%2Fsex-young-adult-fiction.html%3Freferer%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fm.facebook.com
IMO- sex does not equal romance. “Young adult” is just a fancy way of saying “teenager” which is a fancy way of saying “older child”. Adults writing about children having sex is creepy AF.
Whoa going from ‘young ADULT’ to ‘children’ is quite the jump ?
In psychology, a young adult is ranged from late teens to early twenties.
My 9 and 13 year old read some of my young adult books. I let them because there is love without sex scenes.
Speaking as a 34 year old mom- teenagers are children. It’s not much of a jump to me. IDK when I turned that page from BEING a young adult and hating being treated like a kid, but at some point I did. And looking back at the decisions I was making then- yeah, I was a kid making grown up decisions.
I’m a mom too- it doesn’t make you an authority on the subject ?
Young adults = young ADULTS. Adult is in the title. YA is not for children. Children are not ADULTS.
If it was referring to older children, it would be “OC” not “YA” lol
Either way, teenagers have sex. Pretending that they don’t only encourages them to hide it and not seek out guidance for safe sex practices and advice.
Teens having access to books that portray healthy sexual relationships with characters they can identify with is an excellent way for them to explore sexuality.
Many teens have parents who aren’t willing to actively educate them in safe sexual practices and healthy relationship advice. These teens must take guidance from somewhere- why not a book?
And as far as it being “creepy” to have an adult write about teen romance — who else is meant to write it? Most teens lack the skill to write a great novel. Should teens therefore be excluded from getting to read well written books about characters their own age?
I’m certainly not claiming to be an authority, just stating that my age and mom-ness contribute to my idea of kid vs adult.
Books should reflect life, so yes, sex should be in there. Just not what I consider “good” sex scenes.
YA is targeted to 15-17 year olds. Even Barns and Nobel classified that as their targeted YA age range. So she’s not wrong. Teens are children. Just because the law says they aren’t doesn’t mean they have the life experience to be making the choices they think they’re old enough to make. Definitely too young to be having children of their own to boot.
@Myda Who is talking about teens having babies and making life choices? This is about teen reading books LOL
Tes Medovich teens don’t know what really happens during sex. they aren’t emotionally ready for it. And yes tons of them these days are having kids even at 12. And reading books with detailed sex encourages that and glorifies it. They are kids. Let them be kids.
Yeahhhh— we’re going to have to disagree.
Teens will have sex whether or not it’s in books.
Books at least have the chance to provide examples of healthy relationships and safe sex practices.
@Tes books need examples of healthy ROMANCE and RELATIONSHIPS because they need examples of what those are, but not sex. They shouldn’t be having sex if they don’t have healthy relationships first. So they need healthy examples of the others. Not “good sex scenes”.
I don’t have a problem with discussing sex or even having generalised sex scenes. I don’t want sexy detail in YA. My definition of YA is (I’m discovering) a bit different. Having a teenage protagonist isn’t enough for me. I read A Madness So Discreet last month. That is technically YA, but not my definition of YA. I’m reading Fangirl now. THIS is what I think of. Not necessarily fluff, but not dark. Coming of age, learning to be an adult type stuff. Teenagers have sex. I know. I get it. I DID it. Teenagers also eat Tide Pods and lots of other dumb stuff that shouldn’t be glorified in any media aimed at them.
That said, I do see your point. Too many parents are absentee from that portion of their childrens lives. Sometimes the only role models they have are fictional. I think as long as the sex scene isn’t erotica-level descriptive and can teach a lesson (not just there for the sake of having a sex scene) I’d probably be ok with it. PG-13, not R or X.
@Laura teens/children also don’t realize that sex does not mean they’re in a relationship, in love or having a romance. Sex does not equal those things. And they aren’t emotionally ready for the fallout when they realize that. Sex is just sex. It can happen without relationships, permanent healthy emotions, etc. I think teens will get more out of healthy relationships and romance examples rather than good sex scenes. Just because adults reading YA want good sex scenes doesn’t mean they should be there. ADULT readers are upset at fade to black sex scenes in YA. I don’t see a problem with that.
I think sex (and swearing too) should be in some YA books. I get that people are trying to say YA is separate from NA, but I’ve never seen NA actually get a book section. Maybe when NA is less of a unicorn and is a fully recognized grouping then we can have that be the “dirtier” YA. YA has a very different style of writing than adult books and a wide variety of people prefer that writing so it’s not fair to tell them they should just read adult books for that. Teenagers swear and have sex so I feel like that would be more realistic for them too. I’m sick of reading “said a word I won’t repeat” in YA novels. Either don’t swear or do, but don’t give me edited swears. Same for the sex scenes, I don’t want to move on to the next scene whenever there’s a sex scene. (Not sure how coherent all of this is. I’m very sick right now)
That’s very true about NA. When I worked at a Library, we had YA and then Adult. And I found NA type of books in both sections.
Let’s also note that young adult is really 16-25. Most 20 year olds are having sex.
Are you saying I’m old at 31!?!? (? just messing with ya)
I’m two months off 31! I think we’re adults. Not okay with this assessment as I had cold pizza for breakfast while wearing neon yellow dinosaur pajamas. But yea were adults. Eep.
Yassssss I like your style!
Ironically I have less sex now than at 20 ?
I feel you man lol
Oh girls you’re so funny. I’ll be 34 in April
Oh psh Krystal a whole 3 years older than me. You wise woman ! My birthday is in April too. Double cake ?
Yes please lol
I’m actually 32 in like 3 days
@Melissa man I thought you were like 16 ?
??? everybody thinks I’m way young.
But most characters in YA are 17 lol. Or younger. NA has characters in their 20s.
They really need to differentiate between YA and NA, considering the typical age ranges mix. Another April baby over here. will be 35.
Corrie DeWolfe I agree. They lump them
together. Most YA has 17 and younger main characters. NA starts usually with 20 yr old characters.
As a reader sex scenes dont bother me, but as a parent I wouldn’t want my daughter reading about it until shes older, so I do like that the majority of YA does not have crazy vivid sex scenes like adult books… plus some people prefer their books without them. I think its good that way if a young teen/adult wants to enjoy a book without sex they can still enjoy it rather then read middle grade books where they might feel more childish for reading them.. So I think its nice that we have the option to pick up a book that is suitable for a younger audience.
It’s young adult, as a parent I don’t want my kid reading things with strong sex themes even at 16-17 years old
I think most young teenagers these days are exposed to far worse than sex scenes in novels. At 14 I read my aunt’s copy of Outlander and I wasn’t shocked or scarred by the content. It certainly didn’t harm me in any way.
While I agree that they are it doesn’t change my opinion. I feel kids are growing up way faster than they need to these days
I think we do a disservice to young teens by treating them like children and I think it leads to them making poorer choices on average. You’re right that parents need to communicate with their kids about content choices. However the only way a public school child is getting that content is if their parents buy it or they check it out at the library. So, it’s on the parent to police it – not the author to avoid the topic.
I also agree with you on that. I wasn’t having sex till I was almost 18 but I also had a very open and honest relationship with my parents and they mostly allowed me to talk to them about topics most kids I knew didn’t get to talk to their parents about
It’s a fact of life: many teens are having sex, and pretty much all know about sex unless they’re ridiculously sheltered. I believe having books have healthy conversations about sex, “should we, shouldn’t we, why, safe sex, too risky let’s wait, respecting partners boundaries, etc” is super important in ya. Not every book should have it. But teens are NOT children. Babying them does not help protect them. Open conversations do, having them understand what their urges mean and how to deal with them does.
I knew about sex at 8 it doesn’t mean I was at all ready to read books that had graphic sex scenes or glorify sex as normal. I think teens should be having these conversations with their parents and not getting info out of books
While that’s true, and I firmly believe parents should be involved in not only knowing what their kids are reading but as a 16 year old (even a 28 year old who is married and has a kid) my upbringing was so prudish even now talking sex to my parents is impossible. I’m not saying hand an 8 year old acomaf. But most ya deals with a lot of themes 8 year olds aren’t ready for like extreme violence. Sex is a normal part of life and I firmly believe should be treated as such in media. Not all books should touch on it, for example it has no place in say Rick riordans books, but I believe it shouldn’t be taboo either
I’m of the opinion that kids and parents should have open conversations. My parents had many open conversations with me. I tried pot with the understanding that I could talk to my parents about it. My parents were also the parents that bought my alcohol and let me drink with my friends at home so they didn’t have to wonder if I was unsafe. So my opinion is still the same, kids should be getting their info from their parents and not finding it in books. Rick Riordan is also a middle grade author not YA and to be honest reading sex in YA makes me extremely uncomfortable
And I also realize most kids aren’t as lucky as I was but there is a reason why teen pregnancy happens more frequently than it should and it’s literally because parents aren’t having these conversations with their kids when they should be and these kids are finding their info from other sources. I went to a high school full of girls who got pregnant as a teen, who were like 12 to 14 years old ( I was 18 and in my last year) who didn’t even understand how they got pregnant or where babies came from. Just because teens are having sex doesn’t mean they understand the consequences of that choice.
See I had none of that. I learned about what healthy sex looks like from books because my parents were simply “sex doesn’t happen outside of marriage” people. Consent wasn’t a topic to be discussed. It simply didn’t exist. And I do believe books can help us understand better what that is, what the consequences to sex can be. I don’t believe every ya book needs it, but I do enjoy seeing it. A matter of having it for those who want it and those who don’t can avoid those books.
My problem with Sex in YA is that most of the time I find it’s glorifying sex if it didn’t do that I’d probably feel better about my kids reading it
And that’s why it needs to be “better” because currently it’s showing unrealistic stuff. It’s like looking at porn and expecting that to be sex in real life and that is all the education a lot of people get. It’s not healthy. It leads to unsafe sex. Real conversations about consent, about partner boundaries, about what love actually is and looks like outside of the early stages of infatuation, all are seriously lacking
I completely agree. That’s why I like Colleen Hoover’s books. A lot of people hate her because she talks about abusive relationships but those are actual topics that need to be touched on, if anything she’s showing people what signs to look for when it comes to those relationships
Yes. I’ve been meaning to get to her books that just made her go up on my list lol. I love that. So often books show abusive relationships as relationship goal worthy.
Honestly that more than anything is what I’m worried about as my son gets older. The shitty representations of what guys should be like.
I completely feel that
Hmmm… I think if the story calls for a sex scene, sure, but done tastefully. For instance, ACOMAF is a little too steamy for the younger YA reader (which makes it’s little warning hilariously awesome). But Breaking Dawn wouldn’t be a big deal to me. Yes there is sex, but if you really read it, it’s inferred and not seen. That one makes sense. It all depends on the story and what a parent is wanting their child to read.
Young adult isn’t just teens is it? Sorry to be off topic. The term young adult means like late teens to early thirties I thought.
It is.
I wouldn’t consider someone past the age of 24 a young adult tbh
In psychology young adult is from 16 to late 20s ish
I’m a double major in psych and young adults are considered that until 25 so that’s mid 20s. And speaking from experience there is a complete jump in thinking from your early 20s to your late 20s and then again in your 30s. They call it Young adult because your brain has not completely finished growing and you tend not to make less impulsive choices until around 25 give or take 1 year pre or post.
I’m sorry idk what you’re saying really. That I’m wrong? Lol you just said you don’t consider them Ya at 24 but then said they are until 25?
I said someone past 24 I wouldn’t consider YA because at 25 their brain is completely formed and grown. You said that someone in their 30s is still a young adult so yes you’re wrong.
Alrighty well I’m not gonna take your word for it ? thanks though!
Well that’s fine that you don’t but facts don’t change just because “you don’t take my word for it” I’m just a double major in psychology but what the hell do I know. P.s being snarky when someone tells you that someone over 24 isn’t a young adult isn’t the way to go. I’m not sure how old you are Alli but I’m actually over the age of 30 and have life experience on top of my education
What’s your problem?? You’ve said you’re a “double psych major” twice now. FYI I don’t care. Go argue with someone else. You have zero idea how old I am. So kindly back the hell off. And just because YOU say it doesn’t make it true. Like I’d trust some random on the internet who keeps trying to pull rank with her schooling. No thanks ??♀️
Hey let’s keep things civil here. We can politely share our thoughts
I don’t know if good sex is missing. I think it’s subjective? Like I didn’t enjoy the sex in the acotar series. But doesn’t mean it was bad, just not for me. I think most book sex is just unrealistic so you have to just have fun with it ? There have been plenty I liked and plenty I hated.
Thrusting. Manhood. I know that’s your favourite term right, Alli? ?
Oh my brainnnn ??
I think a big part of the “good sex” is any sort of respectful partnership, no peer pressure, just health conversations about it between people who are old enough to have urges and need to decide whether or not to act on them
To that @Julie I also appreciate when it’s the female characters pursuing the dudes. Not just tiny damsels in distress letting the guy take the lead.
Right. So often it’s all guys pushing the girls into it. It’s not healthy.
Seeing as how a young adult is considered someone between the ages if 18 and 35, I definitely think YA books need to include this. Not only sex, but healthy sexual relationships and conversations about the topic.
Guys what is “New Adult”?
New Adult is a steamier version. I’ve usually seen the characters be around college age or just out of college and living on their own. It’s a “fairly new” genre. I put that in quotes because I’ve seen NA start getting popular a few years ago. I’ve mostly been exposed to it with Indie authors, but it isn’t limited to that.
Ooooohhhhh like The Magicians!
Yes!
Sometimes there are tasteful sex scenes, but they are usually sweet. In books like “Tricks” by Ellen Hopkins has some pretty graphic stuff in it, but most of them are “love” scenes.
It bugs me that we have such an issue as a society about sex… teens are going to be having it so they should be able to read about in a healthy way. I’m all for more sex scenes and healthier relationships being portrayed in a realistic way!
Maybe we’d have more 18+ year olds capable of being adults and dealing with issues if we didn’t shelter them from all things up until that point….
Just because teens are having sex doesn’t mean they should be. And I don’t think its so much that people want to shelter teens from all things, we just want our teens to have a clear understanding that the sex in these books is actually not that realistic. Parents should be teaching their children and having open conversations with their kids. It’s not that people have issues with sex in society it’s that they have issues with the unrealistic views about sex in today’s society.
I think YA needs more good sex as a way to teach younger people what healthy, consensual sex is so they don’t stumble into unfortunate situations thinking that they are normal when they are potentially abusive.
This I absolutely agree with!
^THIS
They need healthy romance and relationship examples. When some women think Christian Grey is a healthy relationship, they need a reality check. When teens think Edward Cullen constantly stalking Bella is healthy relationship lol. I think they’d benefit from healthy romance and relationship examples, regardless if it has sex or not in it. And if it does have sex, it shouldn’t be idealistic. You won’t see an author writing about a bloody and somewhat painful first time where the girl doesn’t orgasm and the guy doesn’t last. It’s something magical. They’ll be disappointed when they think it’s supposed to be like that if they’re learning about sex from fiction that shows idealistic sex.
I also think that more books need to have disturbed themes like domestic violence so that teens learn what is and isn’t ok in relationships
@Krystal I think they have plenty of abusive relationships but they’re sold as loving the bad abusive boy is healthy and omg maybe he will change for me! Uh. No. Lol. That will never happen. They need to make sure they point out that this is not healthy and you need to get out of it ASAP! Because an abusive boy will turn into an abusive man. But they romanticize that shit all the time and market it as healthy.
I agree and that’s exactly what I was talking about they need to point out this isn’t ok
I absolutely agree with this! I have a novel that isn’t technically YA, but it deals with healing after getting out of a toxic relationship involving domestic violence and sexual assault/rape. Don’t get me wrong, I love reading YA books, but they do need to portray their romantic relationships a little more realistically.
Yes!