Authors – what is the funniest review you have ever been left?
Authors – what is the funniest review you have ever been left?
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Authors – what is the funniest review you have ever been left?
The one where the reviewer told me off for feeding Maltesers to the dog in my book! She gave me a big lecture on how dangerous it was.
‘The author is an extreme runner and meets Gobi whilst running in China.’ I wouldn’t ever be called an extreme runner! Wrong book obviously. I’d like to go to China but I won’t be running that’s for sure. 🙂
The 1 * review I had on Goodreads for The Abattoir of Dreams where the reviewer states that it’s the first and last book she’ll read by me because it’s obviously aimed at sadists! What can I say? #sickoauthor #twistedTilbury.
i guarentee folk would have bought it after seeing that. Folk love a sicko book ? xxx
Haha that’s why I love your books you have the sickest mind ever!!! (Abattoir of Dreams was my favourite but just finished Key to Death’s Door and it’s a close race) ?
Abbie – I like to think so!
@Lizzie, thank you! 🙂
See now I want to read that book ?
@Lizzie thank you for your review! 🙂
@Mark you’re welcome! Thanks so much for the time you put into your writing, you give so many of us a lot of pleasure ?
“Neat, stylish and very wearable” !!
I loved the book – but the language was infuriating– haha – how did they put up?
The person who counted all the swear words in my book and then proceeded to list them all and their number. I was rather disturbed
One of mine is describing the book as a ‘real diplomatic bag’ – I thought it was very diplomatic and definitely a book not a bag lol. X
‘Just what we needed, works great, EZ install.’ I don’t want to know where they installed it!
My favourite is the American reader who enjoyed No Stranger to Death until she reached what she called its ‘very disgusting graphic sicko ending’ with its ‘perverted masochistic sexual scenes’. But unlike Mark Tilbury’s offended reviewer, mine went on to read my second book and gave it 4 stars, although her review just has to mention Book 1’s sicko ending!
My reviewer was well and truly put off. Not a peep from them since! At least you got another sale from yours.
@Mark she even said if I write another book she’ll buy that too. Some people enjoy being outraged.
‘The author kept switching the main character’s name from Joseph to Joe. I couldn’t tell who was who!”
No?! Really?! ?
@KA yep.
Do they not know Joe is short for Joseph? I have Alexander and alistair in mine – Alex and Ali! Oy oy oy. X
Apparently it confused them. ?
I’m guessing they’re either reviewing something else entirely or someone needs to be taught how to use a book properly ??
Just to clarify: after leaving my kindle on the kitchen table, open at this book for over an hour, no leakage occurred and my better half is no more annoyed with me than usual.
I asked friends to leave a review on Amazon even it said “This book is a vile insult to the people of Derby and shouldn’t be read by anyone.” I got what I asked for needless to say but he did rate it 5 stars.
“I have heard better stories from my cat” I love that one.
Had to find it.
I was given a 1* for Captor because the reviewer didn’t agree with infidelity. Two murders and two kidnaps – no mention of them!
‘A jumbled mess of depravity’ for My Husband’s Lies. At first I was offended, then I thought it was actually a great incentive for people to buy it!!
Sounds like my younger life. ??. I don’t think it’s jumbled, tangled would be more fitting.
Not funny in a funny sense, but it made me laugh. I got a two star review from a reader on Goodreads explaining in depth that they found some of the torture scenes to be graphic and off putting etc (it’s a dark thriller). Right at the end of the review they then point out that they didn’t manage to finished the first chapter! How the Hell did I earn the second star??? ?
Thank you for the free therapy session. Here’s one from a Netgalley reviewer (a reviewer!): “This was not a smooth exciting read for me. Weather it was the Russian mix, slow plot or the “I did not care about these Characters”. This is usually the type of book I like with the crime mystery “Who done it” narrative.”
I had a belting 1* review for In Your Name, where she said the characters became ‘whatever the collective noun for buffoons is’. I’ve read out this review many times in author talks – its hilarious. Quality reviewing.
What’s funny is it’s a verified purchase so they obviously believe in what they write lol
Not had a funny one yet :/
Yes please! 🙂
More puzzling than funny, got a one star from a reader who only read 4% but wanted to know why I never mentioned the reason a character was living with an aunt….if they’d continued, they would have found out. Also said the dialogue for my Greek characters were missing words. I clearly let the readers know the characters were speaking in broken English. Then the reviewer stated an editor needed to go through the whole book with a red pen, only reading 4%, they must be psychic ? Have to say my other one star is fine by me, they read the book and it wasn’t for them ??? x
‘it might leek’ is appropriate to the kitchen, though.
I’ll quote this one…..’After reading this book and another one and his biography, I don’t believe Conrad Jones is male. I’m convinced he is female and lives in the Liverpool area…..’ No mention of the book, got five stars and I am indeed male and don’t live in the Liverpool area……weirdo !
Are you sure … ??
Genuine iBooks review for Sticks and Stones ?
Well, it wasn’t left anywhere, but my wife told somebody: “I just read his book. It was a lot better than I expected.”
A one star review ‘ I haven’t read this book yet.’ ?