Speed Date with Dred: HOW TO MARRY A WARLOCK IN 10 DAYS by Saranna DeWylde

Posted 29 November, 2012 | Mary @ TheBookSwarm | | 10 Comments

Paranormal romance
276 pages, paperback
Available September 2012
Published by Kensington Brava
Review copy provided by publisher for honest review

Got Warlock?

Middy Cherrywood does. She’s got more warlock than she can hex with Dred Shadowins. He isn’t just a billionaire playboy and Weekly Warlock centerfold. He’s a spy for the High Chancellor, and he convinces Middy to pose as his fiancée for his latest mission. Too bad no one told his mother before she slipped Middy a potion that will make their sham engagement all too real in just ten days.

Dred Shadowins already has his hands full with cursed objects, possessed nuns, and dreams where Merlin makes him pay for taking his name in vain by relating his sexcapades with Nimue. But by the end of the mission, he’s convinced his most difficult challenge is the hero’s cape Middy’s draped over his shoulders. Because he wants nothing more than to give her the one thing he may not be capable of providing: Happily Ever After.

This story was quick, funny and so over-the-top. How, you might ask? Well, let me break it down for you in three handy-dandy little lists.

List 1: Witchy references
  • Witchberry (instead of a Blackberry)
  • Warlockian World Web
  • Gingerbread (the witch version of spam)
  • Spelltop (versus a laptop)
  • Witchinizing bastard
List 2: Curses
  • Son of a two-headed hydra
  • Unicorn balls in a pastry puff
  • Stink pickles (shite)
  • Sweet Merlin with a ball gag
List 3: Sexual references
  • Tasty blouse gnomes
  • Passion wand
  • Naked muffin
  • Death by muffinquake
  • Getting laid like tile
  • Plow her like a cornfield
Where did the author come up with these things? Holy cow.

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10 Responses to “Speed Date with Dred: HOW TO MARRY A WARLOCK IN 10 DAYS by Saranna DeWylde”

  1. +JMJ+

    Those lists had me smirking as I read them, but I don’t know if I’d be able to read a whole book full of them and still take the author seriously! =P

  2. Tasty Blouse Gnomes?! OH MY GOD! I just died laughing. And I’m definitely going to refer to the peen as a passion wand from now on. I can’t even say it with a straight face. I can’t stop laughing Mary! PASSION WAND. Amazing.